Written By: Carolyn John Fierce Bad Rabbit
Dedicated To: Scaly Faced Spider Bob, The Left Half Of Second John, in other words; Lucy
“Ouch!” cried a poor fellow, whilst being banged on the head, the girls who were hitting him payed him no mind. “Stop hitting on me!” the boy cried again. The boy had a name. It was Jiggen Tapper. (He had a sense of humor, if you could tell already, and it was the only thing he could be proud of.)
One girl hit him harder, “I've always liked you!” she said matter-of-factly. “Well, I DON'T like YOU!” Jiggen roared. I think I feel quite badly for the fellow at this point, but I will keep going.
Two hours later, they still had not tired of their game, hitting him with their hand bags. Jiggen, of course was, and upon having enough, he did the only reasonable thing; begging got him nowhere, so he tried a different method. “I will give you my lunch, if you go away!” To say the least, it worked, the girls went away. “That will teach them to hit on me!" he muttered, turning. All the girls had walked away, but one; she just looked at him, like he had grown another leg.
He glared, hoping it would scare her, it didn't. The girl, who also had a name, giggled. Her name was Pip. With a name like that, you just have to giggle. “You think that it's funny I won't have a lunch today, EH?!?” he yelled. By this time, he had lost all his tempers, both of them to be exact. All Pip said was, “Meh.” Now, the fellow was not only mad, but also confused. “UGH! Girls!” Jiggen exclaimed, “What good are they anyway!?!” he ended in a distressed sigh.
Pip looked at him, then asked, “Do all boys sigh like that, after giving up their lunch?" Jiggen glanced up through big, yellow eyes, then answered, “I don't know, I've never seen another boy give up his lunch.” Pip gaped in surprise, “I have!” was all she exclaimed, before dashing away. “Wait!” Jiggen called, “I want to see how it looks too!” Pip stopped, and turned. “I will show you, if you give me tomorrows' lunch.” He considered it for a second, then gave in, “Alright, you can have it.” Pip jumped for joy, “YES!” The only reason he listened to her, was that she looked like she MUST know what a normal boy did upon losing his lunch, so upon thinking of this, 'yes' was his answer. He was not looking forward to losing two lunches, but it seemed the only way.
By the end of the day, Jiggen felt starved. “I don't know HOW I will endure another day of this!” he thought, as he walked home from Sandy Bay schoolhouse. His mom asked him how school was. “Oh Jim-dandy!” he answered, eyeing the food. The food did look Jim-dandy, that is what he thought his mom had asked him. The next day, he ate all the breakfast he could hold, hoping that he wouldn't miss his lunch too much. It didn't help. By the time lunch came, he was once again starving. He thought of eating grass, but then thought of something better. “I says, I says, I could done gone swipe someone else's lunch!” said Jiggen thoughtfully. “Do I dare?” he muttered. No, he didn't dare. What a coward!
Jiggen sat, and morbidly waited, for Pip to show him how a boy looks when such a misfortune befalls him. Soon, Pip plunked down next to him, “Hey, you got that there lunch?” Jiggen nodded wordlessly. “Good, now I will show you what it looks like, for a normal boy to lose his lunch.” Jiggen was about to hand over his wonderful lunch, when Pip held up her hand to stop him. “Not yet. Now, close your eyes, and don't look until I get the boy ready.” “Okay,” said the suffering thing, wilting with hunger. “Alright, now look, and hand it over.” Jiggen opened his yellow eyes, and then gasped. In front of him was the same boy, with the same yellow eyes! “I have a TWIN!!!!!!!!!!!” yelled he. The other him yelled the same thing, at the same time.
This confused Jiggen, most things in his life did. “That is not what I expected,” said Pip, lowering the mirror. “HEY! Give me my twin back!” Jiggen cried, throwing his lunch in the air. Pip caught it in the nick of time, after it had bounced off some classmates' heads. “BE MORE CAREFUL WITH MY LUNCH!” She roared. “THEN GIVE ME BACK MY TWIN!!!!!!!!!!!” Jiggen screeched, reaching for the mirror. “Okay,” she said, handing over the pocket mirror with a shrug, “You win.” Jiggen's smile couldn't have been bigger. “I did it! I beat a girl in something!” he laughed wickedly, and stuffed his twin in his pocket.
Pip watched him, and sighed, “What a dumb thing,” then she turned, and walked away.
Suddenly, Jiggen remembered why he had given up his lunch, “Hey, where is the boy you were going to show me!?!” His yell made Pip stop, and turn. “It was YOU!” she yelled back, and with that, she dashed out of sight. Jiggen caught his breath, “I'm the normal boy?!?!” He gasped again, “WOW! Girls are good for something!” With that thought in mind, losing his lunch seemed petty. “I would do it everyday, just to know I'm normal!” This, of course, is NOT a normal way of thinking; the poor fool would never be anywhere close to normal, but don't tell him I said that. It would offend him.
The conclusion of this story is: girls aren't useless, and not one boy is normal.
THE END.