This story is dedicated to Alyssa and Carolyn.
Guiltless and Guillotine were malicious pirates. Of course, Guiltless and Guillotine were not their Christian names, but rather the names that the townspeople around there had given them. This story is situated in the bad lands of Texas, when pirates were popular in those parts. There was a small town called Hangmanhabitat, with exactly twenty people living in it. Not including Guiltless and Guillotine of course, they lived in a hollow cactus near the very centre of something, but nobody knew exactly where.
Well, one day, as Guiltless and Guillotine were paddling their pirate ship through the prairies, a tall young man, with serious whiskers and furious eyeballs leaped out of the tall waves of grass and yelled. “Ahoy there!” said he, “I'm drowning! Save me!” “Ha!” said Guiltless, “Someone to scrutinize!” “Lol!” said Guillotine, “I love watching people drown!” The young man stood up in the waves, and waggled his head. “You two need a guilt trip.” he said. This led to utmost uproarious laughter, and the young man blushed, resuming his drowning. “This guy sounds scary.” said Guiltless. “Bah,” said Guillotine, “He can’t hurt us! Besides, we're in a paddle boat and he’s drowning in the grass!” “That is true.” said Guiltless, and was quiet.
They paddled on for a while, and left the young man behind them. Soon they reached Hangmanhabitat. “Lets rob the bank!” said Guiltless. “Don’t be silly,” scoffed Guillotine, “robbing banks is for little kids.” Guiltless started to cry, because robbing banks was his favorite game. “You're mean Guillotine!” he said. “Nya!” said Guillotine. Guiltless hit Guillotine, Guillotine hit Guiltless, and soon there was the sort of fight that only happens in western movies. They were so caught up with it that they didn’t notice the sheriff, who handcuffed them in the midst of their turmoil, and brought them to the state prison. So, now you know, children, that fighting doesn’t pay. Conclusion.